It has been over a month since my last post. Let me apologise for this. My life has become lively, now that good old M&P is sending me to inspect workhouses again. It feels good to be contributing to society in such a way. Unemployment will not be as much of a problem when my job is done, as each workhouse has the capacity to support a great number of people.
The following are workhouses I have inspected. To be brief, I have broken them down their details into a simple system. Date of Inspection, Name, Size, Workability, Ventilation, Attitude of Manger, Quality, and Final Verdict.
Date of Inspection: Feb 16
Name: Plinners Home For Those In Need Of Work.
Size: Medium, with a comparatively large courtyard.
Workability: Reasonable space and layout. Several walls might need to be taken down or modified.
Ventilation: Not bad. It could be better, but a logical investment might be widening the windows in the main work area.
Attitude of Manager: Pleasant, but ignorant of the outside world. He seems to think that Tony Blair is still Prime Minister. M&P might consider putting someone in to help him run the place.
Final Verdict: Yea.
Date of Inspection: Feb 20
Name: Mullwin Towers.
Size: Large exterior, cramped interior.
Workability: See above. Loading bearing walls would need to be moved for the sake of machinery.
Ventilation: Next to none. I could smell more human by-products than is healthy, and most light was from incandescent bulbs.
Attitude of Manager: Flamboyant, pompous, and overall a lot of fun to speak to.
Final Verdict: Nay.
Date of Inspection: Feb 25
Name: Jack Hall.
Size: Massive to the point that it is hard to navigate.
Workability: Given a map and a horse, or a bicycle, it would be the most efficient workhouse in the whole of the Empire.
Ventilation: So much so that it is freezing cold and wet.
Attitude of Manager: Unavailable. The head governess showed all the friendliness of an electric eel.
Final Verdict: Yea.
Date of Inspection: Feb 28
Name: Marshal & Jim.
Size: Medium.
Workability: Efficient. Nothing is too far from anything, and it was easy to navigate.
Ventilation: Stuffy, but not particularly uncomfortable. Not much would need to be done to improve it.
Attitude of Manager: Unavailable. His secretary seemed to be interested in me on an uncomfortably intimate level. Have her replaced.
Final Verdict: Yea.
Date of Inspection: Mar 1
Name: Seeder House.
Size: Small and cramped.
Workability: None.
Ventilation: None.
Attitude of Manager: Satan.
Final Verdict: Nay.
Date of Inspection: Mar 4
Name: Coalburn House.
Size: Medium.
Workability: Reasonable, but could use some improvement. The bathrooms are far too close to the dining hall. The intent is usually to keep them close, so if a worker is to ingest something disgusting, the loo is well within reach. Paradoxically, this is the very reason some workers may have to use the loo in the first place.
Ventilation: Quite terrible. Improvements would have to be made before the place is suited for the needs of M&P.
Attitude of Manager: Better than some, I must say.
Final Verdict: Yea.
Date of Inspection: Mar 8
Name: The Pulpit.
Size: Small.
Workability: Good. Everything fits together like clockwork. Next to nothing would need to be done to adapt it.
Ventilation: Quite good. The windows seem to be specifically designed for what I'm looking for.
Attitude of Manager: Pleasant and warm. Never in my life have I met someone who seems to have opened a workhouse for the one purpose of improving the lives of their fellow men.
Final Verdict: Yea.
Date of Inspection: Mar 13
Name: The Uncle.
Size: Large and drafty.
Workability: A little less room would be desirable. Also, a ceiling that does not threaten collapse at any given moment.
Ventilation: Far too much.
Attitude of Manager: He seems to think his workhouse is the best there is. I didn't have the heart to tell him he was right, I told him he was wrong. He told me he was right. The rest is better left to the imagination.
Final Verdict: Nay.
Date of Inspection: Mar 16
Name: Josiah's Maximum Fun Room.
Size: ... Honestly, I don't know what to answer. It seemed almost variable.
Workability: If building automata was a children's game, this would not be the way I played the game with my children.
Ventilation: None.
Attitude of Manager: Insane, and dangerous to society.
Final Verdict: Nay.
And there you have it. I have been a busy man, haven't I? I am running out of workhouses to inspect, so we shall see how much longer this journal exists.
❦ J.T. Marker
